From: Raj – Kingston – March 31, 1996

QUESTION: I have been dealing with an issue for me—a long-term issue—which is feeling comfortable in my body with my body. A couple of years ago I started asking my guidance and yourself for some advice. And I’ve come to a point—and my issue is weight—and I’ve come to a point where I eat without feeling guilty about eating too much, or too little or not eating appropriately. And as a result of following this for a couple of years my body has become much bigger. And I’ve started to feel very uncomfortable—feeling discomfort with the size of it, the way it reacts, my current illusion of it. And I’ve also come to realize that all that I’ve learned—all of my memory bank data about how to muscle it into what I used to think it should be—is no good. So I’ve come to a point of not knowing what to do. And I’m very curious to find out what’s really happening here, but I’m kind of at a loss and usually I think that’s a good place to be, but I don’t know what the next step is. So that’s what I’m asking for some advice on.

ANSWER: Well it’s reconfiguration. Don’t be concerned about the fluctuations. They are simply the visibility and tangibility of your letting go of control and yielding into a more fundamental order which isn’t completed yet. This yielding has not been fully realized yet. It is “in process.” It is as though you are watching healing in slow-motion. And so I encourage you to persist in listening for what is appropriate. I especially encourage you not to engage in any judgments about what it looks like is happening because you don’t have enough data to come to an intelligent conclusion, because a Movement that is occurring beyond the scope of your data is happening. And so I encourage you to trust that a process is occurring here and everything you have been experiencing is essential. And the reconfiguration will involve more symmetry than you presently see.

Just don’t rush God! It isn’t that God is really moving slowly. If you’re yielding that is happening in a gradual manner but you are also yielding as fast as you are able. And so things are not out of order. And also in saying to yourself, “I will let this reconfiguration happen in God’s time” will mean that you are letting go of whatever degree of control you think you are able to authorize to speed things up. Yielding really means yielding, you see. And so if you will say, “Thy Will be done,” the yielding will occur more rapidly because that is an act of yielding. If you are trying to help it along, you are still in there being an authoritative presence, or attempting to be. And the reconfiguration will only be the result of an absence of personal expressed authority. You see?

QUESTION: Yes I do.

ANSWER: So I can’t tell you how to do it better because you doing it is what’s disappearing from the picture. So you must say, “Thy Will be done, not mine. And I will continue to pay attention to what is appropriate without guilt,” and now I’m going to add, “without impatience.” “Infinite patience brings immediate results.”

QUESTION: If I am in the middle of this physical uncomfortableness, which let’s say one of the manifestations of it is I’m at work and I’m needing to do something which is not very exerting yet when I do it it looks like I’ve just run a mile because I’ve perspired and I’m feeling the results of just total discomfort, is that also the time to say, “Thy Will be done Father.”

ANSWER: Well it certainly isn’t the time to really take things back into your own hands. Do you wonder how come he gets to be in the middle of a tunnel and you don’t?

QUESTION: (I can’t hear someone's comments clearly.).

ANSWER: At the bottom line I am telling him to be fully present without impatience and without bringing control into play. And until you are Awake everyone is in process. But if you don’t become preoccupied with the end of the process you will be able to be where the process is happening, if I may put it that way, which is always in the moment you’re in. And that’s the place to value. The moment you’re in is where the little gap is that you can slip through. The moment you’re in is the moment about which you will have realization. It is the moment about which you will say, “Oh, I see!”

QUESTION: Thank you.

ANSWER: You are welcome.

QUESTION: Good afternoon, Raj.

ANSWER: Welcome back.

QUESTION: Thank you for all the help you’ve been giving me over the years. My question… well I kind of have two of them. My weight problem has been something that has been upper most on my mind for a long time. And what you say about control resonates with me and also I feel it’s part of a defensive process because of the area, arena in my life where my leading edge is in relationships to men, which has never been very successful for me. And hopefully I’m moving in a direction where that is about to change, or is changing. And Susan and I were talking earlier today about the whole reason we’re all here and the reason you're here to help us is that it’s all about falling in love with God, and He is our lover. And it is to be a passionate love affair that consumes us so that everything we do involves Him. I mean He’s the first… well it’s just like having a loving affair that I’ve experienced somewhat in my life at times.

ANSWER: He is your Sanity. He is your Right Mind. And so yes, what you’re saying is absolutely true, except don’t talk about Him as though He’s somewhere else. He is your Right Mind. He is your Sanity. Go on.

QUESTION: Well, I feel I’ve been experiencing this. I’m on a journey experiencing it. It seems to becoming more clearer to me as I’m becoming aware of this relationship. And as I listen more things seem to flow. As you know I’m in a career which I love dearly and has allowed me to be fully present with trust in the service that I’m providing.

ANSWER: I’m going to interrupt you and I’m going to ask you and Gene, how many things do you have in your life that you use as goads to your progress, or that you use to “keep yourselves in line”?

QUESTION: How many things?

ANSWER: There are not many.

QUESTION: I have a lot. Well, I’m not clear on the question.

ANSWER: One who feels that he or she is from the get-go guilty—guilty from the get-go—finds it valuable to have things about himself or herself that can be identified as obvious flaws standing in need of correction so that they can use that to motivate themselves. Do you know what a goad is?

QUESTION: Something that irritates you, your attention.

ANSWER: Yes, or it is a huge hook that is used with an elephant to get him moving.

QUESTION: Yes, it’s depressing.

ANSWER: It is uncomfortable.

QUESTION: Yes, very. (laughter)

ANSWER: The thing is that part of its use is to remind you that you are not whole respectable, that you are not standing there full of integrity. It is a way of putting yourself down, in other words, even though it is used to try to motivate the energy that it takes to wake up or to improve yourself. What I am saying to you is that both of you have been fooled into using your body weight as though it were a “problem” that does not speak well of you. In other words, it might even say that there is something self-destructive in each of you that needs to be attended to. And the peace of mind and the joy that needs to be present so that you might be ever more curious about the presence of God in your life takes the back seat. “I’ll dare to be joyfully engaged in being curious about what’s really going on once I get this burr out of my ass, called over weight and what it really does mean in my life.” You see?

QUESTION: Well like Gene, it’s very uncomfortable. It’s not beauty and symmetry. I mean I’ve seen myself beauty and symmetry.

ANSWER: I’m sorry are you trying to tell me that you are an ugly blob that’s there?

QUESTION: No, no, no, no, no! I’ve just seen it look better than it does now.

ANSWER: You want to know something? All afternoon Paul has been sitting here wishing that I would be more effective, that I would speak about more imprint things that I would be more stimulating. This is correct. And all the time that he is feeling like this really isn’t a rip-snorting-get-together, he is missing the fact that he could be experiencing the joy of what all of you are already aware of. That it isn’t a blah afternoon. Do you see what I’m saying?

QUESTION: Yes I do.

ANSWER: He by virtue of not wanting to be satisfied in the here and now with what is happening and being present with it, is blocking his conscious experience of how wonderful it is. And likewise as in your question and your question and your question you are letting the idea that it could be better relative to your bodies that you are missing the fact that joy is justified in this moment and that if you let go of this thing that’s always keeping you unsettled that says it could be better, if you could let go of that the wonder of what’s going on in your lives might register with you. And the joy you would experience would constitute the ability to further yield up willfulness on your part and watch reconfiguration take place.

Why has this been bothering you for years—for years? I mean has it done any good?

QUESTION: No, it’s kept me in a separated state, more painfully aware of being in a separated state. I don’t like that feeling.

ANSWER: Maybe God is sufficient to the moment you’re in with things exactly as they are or appear to be to you at the moment. maybe God is sufficient unto all of these circumstances. And if you weren’t using your weight or some other thing as a means of motivating you, when at the same time it drags you down, you might discover the sufficiency of God in the moment, to reveal yourselves to you as who you Really Are with perfect symmetry. But the symmetry can’t be the point. It’s just the results. Do you see?

You don’t have, neither one of you have a long list of things that have been bothering you that you actually activate. You see? The problem is not your weight! The problem is that your ego’s are using it as a means of keeping you off balance.

QUESTION: I got that part. I’m clear on that.

ANSWER: That’s the only part I’m talking about, because that’s the problem not the weight.

QUESTION: Well I’m really willing to get rid of this. Can you help? …this attitude, whatever it is.

ANSWER: You mean I didn’t do good enough?

QUESTION: I think you’re wonderful and you’ve been so helpful. Please let me rephrase my question. Am I moving in this direction of resolving this? Hopefully.

ANSWER: This what?

QUESTION: This misperception that I’m holding on to.

ANSWER: What misperception?

QUESTION: Of who I Truly Am.

ANSWER: That’s not the issue. The issue is not to be hooked by the ego into using some judgment against your body as a means of keeping yourself off balance, and feeling like it could be better.

QUESTION: What you’re saying then, this moment is as good as it gets, is based on my awareness.

ANSWER: You can see it more easily about Paul. What if he said, “You mean this is as good as it gets—with Raj? You mean it can’t be more dynamic? It can’t be more triggering than it is right now?” You would say to him, “Can’t you see how triggering it is?” It gets no better than the Kingdom of Heaven. That is what’s happening at this instant. The ultimate is happening. But you won’t see the ultimate until you abandon the attempt to find things wrong in order create the motivation to see how good things are.

QUESTION: Well, that is really tricky. And that’s what we’re doing?

ANSWER: This has nothing to do with relationships with men. It has nothing to do with whether there’s something in you that doesn’t want relationships with men. It has nothing to do with hormones.

QUESTION: Well I knew that part.

ANSWER: It has to do with the fact that for the two of you you have allowed the ego to pick this issue and say, “You could be doing better. This could be better.” And of course, what does that mean? It means that the fact it is not better is because you’re falling short in some area—there’s something wrong with you.

Right here, as I see the two of you, the presence’s that you are are glorious. It doesn’t get any better than this. But as long as you let the ego distract you with body issues you won’t be curious to see what’s here that doesn’t get any better, and you’ll keep yourselves in a state of misery.

Now Paul is beginning to see and feel that it’s not a bad afternoon with Raj.

QUESTION: Please dear Raj, can you tell and Gene—or at least for me—how I can correct this?

ANSWER: When the ego suggests to you that your weight problem is an indicator of your neglect of your not being Awake, that there is something wrong with you and that concern is an appropriate thing for you to engage, tell it I said to shut up!

QUESTION: Thank you, thank you. (applauds)

ANSWER: Now the ego says, “well, so I’m just gonna be fat?” No! Fat isn’t the issue. It’s whether you’re listening to the ego or not. And if you’re not then either you’re going to be bored with the peace you’re experiencing, or you’re going to experience peace that has made room for curiosity to see what’s really true right here, not how much is wrong right here. You see?

QUESTION: I’ve never seen it from what you’ve… I haven’t been looking at it from the way you’ve described it, because I don’t…

ANSWER: It would have been of no value for me to have shared with you the way you have been seeing it. Of course, you’ve never thought of it this way.

QUESTION: No, I haven’t. And I know since you’ve facilitated healings on all those people who have asked for them from you, I am confident that mine will be in process. Thank you very much.

ANSWER: You can count on it. I just encourage you not to be watching your body for the evidence of it. I want you to watch what happens in your mind. I want you to watch how you discover just how the ego introduces suggestions to you that cause you to become distracted by this problem you have that says something about your lack of integrity, so that you can say, “Oh, get thee behind me. Shut up! I choose to stay in that place where I’m not in turmoil, where I am feeling good and I have the perspicacity that it takes to look for my joy.”

QUESTION: Would it be helpful if I don’t look at myself in the mirror anymore?

ANSWER: As long as you don’t wear make-up.

QUESTION: Thank you very much.

ANSWER: No, it’s not okay for you not to look in the mirror. You need to look in the mirror and not judge.

QUESTION: Thank you.

ANSWER: Because what you see doesn’t matter. What I mean by that is, what you see isn’t the issue. It’s what you’re seeing with. And are you looking through the lens of the ego or are you being curious to see what the Father is seeing there?

There just is not justification for judgment. What do you think the Father sees when you’re standing there in all your glorious nudity in front of the mirror? No don’t tell me.

QUESTION: I was going to say a Renoir painting.

ANSWER: This is my beloved Daughter in whom I am well pleased, period, bottom line.

QUESTION: (Can’t hear this clearly) Thank you very much.

ANSWER: Let this percolate.

QUESTION: It just occurred to me that this is so ingrained, it’s a feeling I don’t even think I think it. That’s how lack of aware I am on this issue.

ANSWER: Like I said, as a result of the healing team working with you, you can look forward to having little light bulbs going on so that it’s not happening in a manner that you’re unaware of. And you can say, “Oh my, shut up,” and go on with your stuff.

QUESTION: And so the healing team will help me be more conscious when this is occurring.

ANSWER: If that’s what you want?

QUESTION: I do! Puleeeaasssse!!!

ANSWER: Indeed.

QUESTION: Thank you. Amen.

QUESTION: (Another questioner, but the answer ties in with what Raj was saying to Gene and Trish.) I’ve had two massive heart attacks, where not a doctor or nurse or hospital expected me to pull through. And I did! Why? I'm tired! Do I still have more things to learn or teach. And also the first one when I was experiencing a near death experiences, I was arguing with somebody like mad about their timing, was that you? Was that you I was balling out?

ANSWER: You can’t imagine what I have to go through!

QUESTION: You can’t imagine how I hate computer error. And that’s what I was blaming it on.

ANSWER: Yes, it was me.

QUESTION: Good.

ANSWER: You can’t possibly be where fulfillment of purpose isn’t occurring. And as I said earlier today, where you are and how you’re perceiving yourself at this moment or at any given moment is precisely the place where Awakening can occur. It is therefore the most valuable place for you to be giving your attention.

What makes you think there will be better than here to wake up? What makes you think you’re not going to be tired there of the same old demand to pay attention? You see, you’re not here just for your own good. You’re here because the good of you is needed for those who are in your experience.

QUESTION: Then can you let me have some more energy. I’m all out. That last one took it all.

ANSWER: Will you stop resenting not having as much energy? That is what is tiring you out. You haven’t really said, “Yes, God!” Is it not obvious to all of you how much you use weight or tiredness or your word as a way to not say “yes” to God? And not let your weight, if you will, be fully present on the step that you’re on, imagining a stairway? Do you realize that if your weight isn’t fully on that step you can’t lift your foot to put it on the next step? If your weight is evenly distributed between two steps you can’t lift either one of them. And so you have to shift and let all of your weight be in one place, then you can lift your other foot and movement become possible.

This is why I keep saying that love is the willingness to recognize that which is Real in each and everything. Where? Not at the end of the tunnel. Not after you pass on. Not after your ex-husband dies. You see? But right where you are. All of the materials, you might say, that it takes for you to wake up are staring you in the face, are underneath you and your sitting on it, is underneath the chair that you’re sitting on, etc. All of reality as God is being it is what’s here. But as long as you’re looking to the end of the tunnel or over there or when you’re thinner you have your attention somewhere else, somewhere other than where the opportunity to experience your fulfillment is.

Her ego keeps her unsettled by focusing on her “weight problem.” Your ego keeps you unsettled by focusing on low-energy, easy exhaustion. It keeps you from being happy right where you are. It keeps you from discovering or having the revelation of all the joy and energy and companionship that is present, just as it kept Paul from feeling that something meaningful was happening this afternoon. You see?

And this is not a test for you to pass or fail at. That’s the end of the answer.

Raj on "Overweight"

Raj gave the following response to a question about overweight
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I will tell you something: if you think that the body, itself, is an illusion, then you must necessarily believe it has nothing to do with God. If you think the world and universe are an illusion, then you must think they have nothing to do with God.

If they have nothing to do with God, then they must be material—"matter"—and they must necessarily function according to the laws of matter. Physics. On the other hand, if you are in fact experiencing Creation—albeit "through a glass darkly"—then body, world and universe must be Real, and they must necessarily function according to the laws of Spirit.

Depending upon your point of view, you will either see the correction of this problem as a manipulation of matter or the allowing of Spirit. And as the laws of physics state: for every action there is a reaction. Correction, therefore, is always conflicted—as is the problem. Interesting, isn't it?

The laws of Spirit, on the other hand, are as undivided and indivisible as Spirit, because Spirit is the substance of God. Yielding to the laws of Spirit engenders no opposite, no reaction, no conflict. They are, however, laws beyond your control. And yielding to them will feel like "irresponsibility." After all, you're conditioned to believe that you, and you alone, are the only one who can make things happen.

This "girth" you refer to reflects the fact that you haven't yet caught the point that your body is part of Creation and therefore has nothing to do with an objective material universe operating according to laws of physics.

It means that you haven't caught the point—had the insightful revelation—that Creation isn't an objective manifestation of matter, but is, instead, the subjective experience of Meaning. Meaning is intangible, yet recognizable and capable of being experienced.

"Capable of being experienced" has meant "exists as matter." When Spirit, which capable of being experienced, is redefined as substance which "exists as matter" and is governed by laws of matter, instantaneous transformation of misperception becomes impossible. Why? Because the misperception defines it as impossible! Not because it is.

When you say, "I authorize my body to release whatever is not necessary to its perfect functioning," it does not mean: "I authorize this material form to release excess fluids, fat molecules, and all forms of matter not necessary to its perfect functioning." No. This is not mind over matter!

When you make that authorization it makes no declaration to or about the body! Instead, it is a declaration of standpoint, fundamental premise. And your fundamental premise, when this declaration is being made, is one which is in perfect harmony with your body's intent to identify you perfectly because that is its function. That is the function of Spirit. Spirit identifies God perfectly. You see?

There is no matter! Why? Because matter is Spirit seen through a glass darkly. There is no world! Why? Because the world is Creation seen through a glass darkly. And the "glass darkly" that it is seen through is that which is seen as objective matter, having nothing to do with God, operating under the absolute laws of physics, instead of the subjective experience of Creation.

There is more to say, but I will wait to hear from you. And I want to hear more from you than, "Thank you."

Raj