From: Raj @ Lake Morey 1994

ABOUT INCEST

Q. Hello Raj.

Raj. Good afternoon.

Q. I have questions about incest. I'm wondering first if You will help Me to see incest through your eyes.

Raj. That through my eyes, I see two Christs. Two, who are ignorant of Who They Are, having nothing to do whatsoever with their relationship to Each Other; their age, their education or lack of it, their life experience or lack of it, who engage in a dance. The dance is mutually destructive to their experience of their Integrity but as I said yesterday, which of them is the victimizer and which of them is the victim is not provable because as a result of their ignorance, they indite Each Other.

There Are No Accidents. And there are no ignorant Souls. There is no Individuality born into this Experience Who has a clean slate, waiting for the meaning of Life to be written upon it. Every Soul is an old Soul. Every Soul, in spite of your perception of them, is as old as God. And has for lack of better words, lifetimes of experience behind them. And EveryOne Comes In with their baggage and for lack of better words, it is all adult baggage.

I will tell You, that there has never been one moment where any of You have been some place that was meaningless for You and that was not designed by You, although not consciously; that was not designed by You to Illuminate the leading edge of your Ignorance. And if You have learned how to avoid the break-through that is truly characteristic of the leading edge of your Ignorance and have refined the avoidance of the break-through so that it becomes an experience of suffering that benefits You; You can appear to be an innocent victim.

Your senses deceive You and your beliefs about Life confuse You. And thus when You see a child abused, sexually or physically by an adult, You say, Fowl Play. Horrifically Fowl Play. There is no way for this child to have created this or elicited this experience.

This Is Not A Child. There's a flip side to this. The flip side to this is, that as Each One of You looks at an apparently new Entity, a new child and You say, I acknowledge this Being is ancient, with a wealth of experiencebehind It. I will not oppress It by treating It as though It is Ignorant. And You will stand ready to elicit Its wisdom at a "very tender age". And You will not hold It in bondage to your concept of Its newness and fragility as an Individuality.

And You are likely to learn much sooner from that teacher and Its ancient Wisdom and experience, than if You repress It with your concept of It until It gets to be 18 and manages to get out of your grasp. In other words, the flip side of it is, that You will have the opportunity to see the very best and highest potential come forth sooner if You won't hold the child to your concept of Its newness and Innocence and total Ignorance.

And by the same token, You will be wise and, well I am going to put it this way. One of the aspects of the human condition which hasn't surfaced yet psychologically, is Parent abuse, by these, wonderful, innocent, children. I am not indicting children any more than I am indicting adults. But let's be clear, so that We don't misunderstand.

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I'm sorry, but I cannot agree with the popular concepts, because the popular concepts aren't true. And, children who are a participant in incest, are contributors to that Alliance.

Wake Up! You know, Insurance Companies have gotten smart, they now have no fault insurance. And as a result, there are fewer suits, because Each One is responsible for his own coverage and his insurance company pays his benefits. And You know what? As soon as You realize that there is NoOne else to blame, You will have fewer circumstances occurring in which blame can come into play.

In other words, when there is no benefit to be gained, because EveryOne is wise to the game, NoOne will engage in acts which require blame and the paying of penalty to make the act profitable.

Yes, I know that this sounds like I am saying that You Create your own Experience....and so I am guilty. No! Guilt is not part of what I am talking about. The finding of blame is not the point. Becoming Awake enough not to engage in the game ; is what I am talking about.

This is hard, hard Brass tacks. It's more of the heart grabbing violin. If You know that there is no way for You to be an innocent victim, You see it's not the word victim, it's the word innocent that bothers EveryOne when it comes to the child or the weak by comparison Women, who is getting into her car in a parking lot who is assaulted by a strong man.

There is always a dance. It is always a mutual agreement. And if EveryOne took responsibility, and if it was impossible to point the finger of blame to SomeOne else, that Women would not be in that parking lot, available, andI am sorry, inviting, and a rape would not happen.

And if there was no payoff, the acts would be negated, they would stop. And EveryOne would stop being an accident looking for a place to happen. This is just Realism, down to earth, practical Realism. It's Intelligence and You know what it does in spite of the fact that it seems so insulting to EveryOnes' concept? It restores Dignity to every single One of You, including the child who EveryOne is insulting by having this wonderful concept of purity and Innocence. Well, You really only have to wait about 3 weeks to find out how Innocent that baby is. Oh, they call it instinct. But it isn't. It's experience. And that baby has You jumping hoops and controlling You. And even at 3 weeks, unless You are a parent for the first time, You recognize the signs of having to practice intelligence and say no. Or let your behavior convey the fact that You are not available for the kind of control It would like to exercise.

Oh, the ego says, You mean I have to just put up with being a victim and take the responsibility also? No! When You take the responsibility, You are empowered.

When You don't take the responsibility, You become lazy and sloppy and inattentive. And by virtue of that, You invite confusion of all kinds. But that's O.K., because somebody else will pay for it.

What all of this amounts to is, that it's time to grow up. Mind You, what I am saying is not, that I am condoning abuse of any sort. But if there was a little bit more Self Responsibility, and therefore a little bit more Dignity being Embodied by Each One of You, You would not become entrapped in an abusive situation. And thus the One Who would appear to be the abuser, is deprived of the opportunity also.

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All of You will find, that your greatest difficulty around the Truth is going to come where it challenges this issue of victim and victimizer. Innocent victim and victimizer. Innocent victim and guilty victimizer.

Those of You who have not been in an abusive situation, will have more difficulty understanding the truth of what I am saying. Those of You who have been, whether it has been sexual abuse or physical abuse, If You have arrived at a point Where You are willing to be honest with yourSelf, You will remember that You were not only willing, the event embodied or manifested a curiosity that You had already had.

Now this is not so that You can become guilty, that I am saying this, but so that You do not engage in unclearthinking, that continues to suggest that You have reason to play a really sad song on your violin.

At the bottom line, instead of getting side-tracked by guilt, and shame from the experience, it should have just been an experience that proves that your curiosity had pointed You in a direction that You no longer want to pursue. It should have been a simple Educational Experience that left your Integrity intact.

Now, I have said before regarding abundance or lack, that You have exactly as much abundance as You can justify having, not one bit more, not one bit less. It is absolutely precise. And You have all the Justifications necessary for that precise point of abundance or lack. Knowing that is empowering! Like-wise, You all have Justifications for the amount of harmony or suffering that You experience. Not one bit more, not one bit less.

And You have that Exercise of Authority functionally fully, even before You Emerge from the womb. And that knowledge is Empowering. Anything that obscures that fact dis-empowers You, and then the only way that You can seem to experience your Integrity is by extracting Payment from Others, whom You make responsible for your lack, or your suffering.

Now, I told You Saturday night, that I was going to be Bold. What I am saying is the Healing Truth. If You remember nothing else from this Gathering. I hope that until You Wake Up, when You begin to notice the Feelings associated with the subject of incest or rape or anything around an innocent victim, guilty victimizer, except usually the attention is relative to the innocent victim; I hope that when those Feelings emerge, You will immediately hear the violin. Because that is exactly the spot that You are either getting sucked into Oppression or You are not getting sucked into Oppression.

And the story around it is irrelevant. Watch the way it works. Oh, that poor Soul. You see, your attention is pulled away from your empowered Clarity, your empowering Clarity about YourSelf and says, but that poor child, but that poor woman. But that poor Black, but that poor Jew, and when You claim their poverty You establish yours! You say, they really can be an innocent victim. Well your claim for them is your claim for YourSelf!

And You had better watch what You claim for YourSelf. Or You will be faced with the opportunity to become clear.

You said, "Raj, sock It to Me". Early on, people would come and say, can You tell Me how to get in touch with my Guide? With all eagerness. And part of Paul would say, of course! And the other part of Paul would say, .....You don't know what you're asking for. [Laughter]

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But I tell You what. Although Truth often tastes like a bitter pill, if You will chew it and swallow it, You will indeed find YourSelf strengthened and empowered in your Divine Integrity right here on Earth. It isn't new laws and it isn't better psychotherapists that will change the world for the better. It's EveryOne growing up and not indulging in silly irrational but heartfelt stupidity.

Paul wants to be through. [Laughter] Do You have a "yes, but?"

Q. I don't have a "yes, but." I have further questions in regard to incest.

Raj. Proceed.

Q. Are You willing to confirm that incest occurred with Me?

Raj. Indeed! So what?

Q. What do You mean by Indeed?

Raj. Indeed, it occurred with You.

Q. In this Lifetime?

Raj. In this Lifetime. In three others as well! It was beginning to become a style, it has been broken. The pattern is broken.

Q. Could You tell Me how....

Raj. You will not victimize any future potential enactors of incest. The World, the Universe is a little bit safer from You.

Q. Are You willing to say who was involved?

Raj. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter, You were involved. I will also tell You something else. You are not experiencing any psychological damage from the experience. You are not engaged in suppressing memories that are altering your ability to be present in the moment and experience your fulfillment. And for You, there is no value in pursuing any details. Do not pick up this sticky wicket, or You are likely to become stuck for a time in what is irrelevant.

In spite of everything I have said, there are those who have had experiences of incest, which are being suppressed and are causing them to be dis-functional and it is essential for them to uncover it so that ultimately they can take responsibility for it and thus become empowered again and connect with their Dignity and release the finger of blame from another and Forgive the circumstance. And Forgive themSelves and move Forward in Mental Health.

But this is not the situation with You. Don't let the current flurry of media coverage of this problem together with the horrific sense of their having been an innocent victim, cause You to pursue this and make for You, a mountain out of what was for You, a mole hill.

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Q. I understand that.

Raj. I promise You that if this was not the case, I would tell You it was not the case and I would tell You to pursue the uncovering of what You are blocking.

Q. One remnant of it, is my hate for my mother.

Raj. Yes.

Q. I guess I just wanted to share that. It does Me no good and it's really about hate for MySelf and my own weakness, as I understand it. I just don't seem to be able to have movement in this.

Raj. You know what? You can get in touch, You can connect with an experience of Who You Are before You have Forgiven your mother. And, in doing that, You will discover that this Innocent One that You Are, no matter what You might have believed about yourSelf, that this Innocent One that You Are that is utterly Divine because that's part of the discovery. Even if it's a brief glimpse. The discovery that You Are Divine, That immediately registers with You as having to be true about EveryOne else, including your mother.

Now, You can use some Mental Self discipline and refuse to actively engage in hating your mother. And that's better than actively hating her. That is a better use of your Mind. And that is not repression. That's simply intelligent selection of activity. That in itself will not heal the relationship but it will not validate the suffering aspect of it. In addition to practicing this self discipline, take time to meditate. Take time to specifically practice being still.

Moving into the Silence within You, is not a Movement from a space of emotional conflict to a space of emotional harmony. What it is, is a moving from the surface re-active level of the Mind and it's accompanying polarized emotions to a direct connection with your Being. In other words, with all of You, when You meditate and You experience Peace in the silence of your Being, You Are having a direct experience of You with a capital "Y". You are having the direct experience of your Divineness.

If You abide in it with curiosity, rather than just seeing it as a different emotional state from the surface one of conflict. As You stay in it and pay attention to it as though it is a direct experience of Reality with a capital "R", your first experiential glimpse of The Kingdom Of Heaven and The Christ that You Are and You pay attention as though it is something other that just a different state of Mind, You will find much more Illumination emerging from that Peace.

That Peace is not just a relief from conflict. It is as though You are in a sleeping bag on a grassy knoll in The Kingdom Of Heaven and during the night You scooted down so that even though the Sun has come up, you're in the dark and when You go into that inner place, in the blackness, in the silence and You pay attention, it's like opening your eyes in the sleeping bag that is on the grassy knoll in The Kingdom Of Heaven. And it is an experience of The Kingdom Of Heaven and The Christ that You Are.

But You're still in the dark. And so if You will go into the silence and pay attention to it in this way, with curiosity, very gentle non-corrosive curiosity, You will find more of the substance of this experience of The Kingdom Of Heaven and The Christ that You Are disclosing It's Self. And it feels like something.

And it's unique characteristic is, that it has the Integrity that I spoke of. It's unpolarized. And You say, wow, this is Me? And this is Real? This is an experience of my Eternal Substantial Self? And as You allow for that to register with You, without trying to make anything of it, You will experience conviction of the Truth of it.
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And the most wonderful thing is, that You will have what You will call a backlog of experience of your conflicted Self. And You will know that there is nothing special about You which has caused You to deserve to have this Realization and Experience. And because You know for a fact that there was nothing special about You, it means that your mother who has nothing special about Her either and you're positive of it, then it is true of Her too.

And You will experience a connection with Her and All of You will experience a connection with those in your experience. And that is from a new basis, a new level of your own experience. You will recognize that no matter how ignorant your mother may be of her Divinity, no matter how ignorant those people are in your experience are, of their Divinity, and no matter how distorted their behavior is, because of their ignorance, You will recognize this glorious Truth about Them that You are experiencing about YourSelf.

And it will be much more difficult to judge them. It will also be much easier for You to Love them, because it won't be easy for You to bring your judgment into play. So if You want to heal your relationship with your mother, attend to connecting with the experience of your Being so that You may have a discovery of Who You Are. So that You can have the experience of discovering who She Is and as a result of the experience, be able to Love Her without going through Therapy.

Now Paul is glad that the time wasn't up.

Q. There are a number of people who have spin off questions on this.

Raj. I know. We will end for now. [Applause]

Raj. Good morning. I'm not pushing up my sleeves for a hard day's work. The Energy here is wonderful! Your Love has been strengthened. But that's mis-leading. What I am really meaning to convey to You is that, as compared to when You arrived, your Love is less blocked.

You are indeed giving permission for it to be your Presence. It is cause for Joy for Us. Your experience of your Integrity is also less blocked. EveryOne often thinks that their integrity is allowed or blocked by circumstances. When at the bottom line it is allowed or blocked by the permission You give or withhold. A word You give within yourSelf.

And if You withhold the permission, You are the oppressor. You're engaged in Self-Oppression. There will always be apparent justifications for withholding permission. You will never lack for them. In fact, the justifications are such a common thing that in the Dignity of You, they ought to be beneath You. And therefore something You just don't care to indulge in.

Q. Thank You.